Don’t compare: Everyone’s life is different and what you see is not the whole truth especially on social media. So do not compare your success, challenges, efforts or ability to cope from setbacks with others. Take pride in the fact that you’re unique and there’s no one else like you.

In this interview series, we are exploring the subject of resilience among successful business leaders. Resilience is one characteristic that many successful leaders share in common, and in many cases it is the most important trait necessary to survive and thrive in today’s complex market.

I had the pleasure of interviewing Mamta Suri.

Mamta Suri is a seasoned leader with 18+ years of demonstrated expertise and experience developing products spanning different industries such as Cloud Applications, SaaS, Medical Instruments, Marketing, PaaS. With her diverse education and diverse work experiences, it gives her unique perspectives. She’s a mentor to women and encourages them to take the path to leadership. She is the Diversity and Employee Resource Group Leader working on intersectionality initiatives for racial equality, equity and justice. She is an active volunteer in her community.

Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?

I am an immigrant, a person of color, caregiver, avid questioner of status quo, continuous learner, and a believer that goodness prevails. My background is in Computer Science and Molecular Biology. I am a people leader and have built products and services for Fortune 500, Cloud and SaaS companies including Identity Management, security, data storage, marketing, and platform Services. I have managed multiple teams in different locations around the world. I have rich experience in change management and have successfully taken my teams through various acquisitions. It’s been very fulfilling for me to mentor, inspire and grow my teammates.

I am also a Diversity leader working for racial equity, justice and inclusion. I have been helping strengthen an inclusive workplace environment that enables the maximum potential of employees’ talents, skills, and abilities, as well as provides new perspectives that enhance positive collaboration and communication across our organization.

Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?

This pandemic has taught me a lot of things. One thing I have learned is that when life gives you lemons, you can complain about the lemons or you can make delicious recipes like lemonade, lemon pickle and lemon sorbet. My daughter started middle school last fall in the middle of the pandemic with remote schooling. Usually there’s walk throughs and shadowing to make it easier for kids and their parents to transition to middle school from elementary school. This was not easy to do over virtual engagements. I could have just sat there complaining about all of the different issues and challenges. Rather, I suggested creating a group for parents of incoming 6th graders so that we can share information, answer each other’s questions and support each other. The suggestion got thumbs up from a few parents. I immediately created the group and sent out the link and made it easier to share. This group has been a great support system and resource for us during remote schooling this school year.

Another such example is the Covid Crisis in India. I can complain about a lot of things that have gone wrong and can feel helpless. Since I wanted to focus my energy on being part of the solution, I created an information hub curating all the available resources India wide and also in each state so that people can get timely help. This hub is providing support and help to the needy by making use of the resources and solutions available and putting it in one easy to use place. My kids are also helping out in this effort. It’s gratifying to be able to do my little part in helping people.

Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?

Resilience is unique to everyone. It doesn’t have to come after a big setback or be marked by a big event. It could be as simple as making dinner for your family at the end of the day when you are tired. It could be taking 15 minutes for yourself to do meditation or a hot bath. Resilience, to me, is to the act of moving forward and to not give up on the things that matter to you. Resilience also means to be ok with letting go of things that drag you down.

All of us are resilient in our own ways and in our day to day lives. This pandemic has increased resilience in all of us even if we don’t realize it. Reflect back and think about how much you have grown in the past year. The main thing is not to compare your lives to others and your resilience to others. Trust me if you are reading this after going through 2020, you are resilient.

When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?

My father was a true embodiment of resilience. Both my parents migrated to India (when they were kids) after the India-Pakistan partition in 1947. My dad’s family had lost everything. My dad, when he was a teenager, used to work during the day and study under the streetlight at night since they couldn’t afford electricity at the time. He started his own business and was a self-learner. There were times when the business would not make much, but he kept going, pivoted when needed and never gave up. He always had a smile on his face no matter what else was going on. I grew up seeing him display courage, resilience, and grit. He instilled the value of hard work and education in me and my siblings. I am here today because of his efforts and practicing resilience in the face of hardship.

Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?

When someone tells me the word “impossible”, I take it up as an opportunity to prove them wrong. One example is during undergrad, I decided to pursue Computer Science along with Biology. There was no such program for undergrads at that time, so I decided to pave my own path. Carrying huge biology books in programming classes and vice versa was quite an experience. Computer Science classes had only a handful of girls but that didn’t intimidate me. I worked hard and I got perfect scores in classes from both disciples. I graduated with honors for both degrees and was chosen as the class speaker for the Computer Science department graduation.

Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?

I immigrated to the US from India during 11th grade. It’s not easy to go to a new high school let alone in a new country. I had to get acclimated to a new school, new people, and a new culture. In addition, I had to complete my credits for graduation, learn about something called SATs, and learn about the college admissions process. I spent my weekdays trying to fit it in, studying till late to maintain the GPA, and spent weekends studying for SATs and writing college applications. There were so many changes in my life all at once. I felt tired, sad and overwhelmed but I was always hopeful. I learned quickly that instead of looking at the mountain ahead of me, I just need to focus on my next few steps. As long as I can keep moving forward and don’t give up, I’ll be able to finish the climb and get to the mountaintop. That’s what happened and it was a great crash course in resiliency.

Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.

How does a baby learn to walk? The baby falls often, takes help of surrounding furniture, slowly learns to gain balance, and finally learns to take one step, one more and then one more until she can walk by herself. Resilience is built into us, and we have been doing this ever since we were babies. To keep building up the resilience inside us, here are 5 tips.

1. Mindset: We need to be a little easy on ourselves when there’s a setback, hardship, or a failure. We need to realize that setbacks and challenges are part of life. We need to get up and keep going just like the baby falls a few times but eventually learns to walk.
2. Stop ruminating: It’s very easy to get lost in the spiral of negative thoughts when something doesn’t go according to the plan. In those moments, we need to take some deep breaths, focus on what’s under your control and let go of what’s not. Practice gratitude to come out of rumination. It’s very beneficial to think from a long-term perspective. Ask yourself, would it matter in 5 years? If so, then let’s learn from it and keep going. If not, then let it go.
3. Don’t compare: Everyone’s life is different and what you see is not the whole truth especially on social media. So do not compare your success, challenges, efforts or ability to cope from setbacks with others. Take pride in the fact that you’re unique and there’s no one else like you.
4. Appreciate yourself: I bet you are really good at criticizing yourself, all of us are. You need to be intentional about appreciating yourself. Take a moment to acknowledge when you do something good, when you overcome a challenge and when you don’t give up. Resilience is a muscle, so remind yourself of your daily resiliency and it’ll start to build up. As a bonus, you may start feeling happier
5. Ask for Help: None of us are superman or super-woman, so stop pretending to live up to this false image. When you ask for help it takes courage and shows your strength. You don’t have to do everything alone. So, ask for help when needed such as hiring a babysitter or relative to look after kids, taking some time off from work when feeling overwhelmed, ordering takeout instead of cooking, and seeking counseling. Mental health is equally important as physical health. You’ll be surprised that people are willing to help if you allow them.

You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂

Take at least 15 minutes for yourself everyday. These 15 minutes are yours and spend it doing something you like such as listening to music, singing, dancing, walking, exercising, meditating etc. It could be for anything you enjoy doing but it should not include looking at a screen or device.

We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the US with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂

I would love to meet Melanie Perkins who’s the founder and CEO of Canva. I would love to have a conversation with her about her experience as a female founder in the tech industry.

How can our readers follow you on social media?

You can follow me on LinkedIn or Twitter.

This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!

---

Rising Through Resilience: Mamta Suri On The Five Things You Can Do To Become More Resilient was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.