Macy Matarazzo of SuperLOVED: Rising Through Resilience; Five Things You Can Do To Become More Resilient
Play all the way. Decide to have fun. Seriousness, urgency, and frustration will quickly lead you to burn-out, and you can’t skip dating if you want to fall in love. Having a playful mindset will give you an attractive vibe, online or off! Most people want a partner because they want someone to laugh and play with, so bring that playfulness to your online dating journey. The truth is you can’t create a happily ever after love story from a miserable dating experience. In the end, it only takes one single moment, one wink, or one email for your dream relationship to start, so anticipate that, and play into love now.
In this interview series, we are exploring the subject of resilience among successful business leaders. Resilience is one characteristic that many successful leaders share in common, and in many cases it is the most important trait necessary to survive and thrive in today’s complex market.
I had the pleasure of interviewing Macy Matarazzo.
Macy Matarazzo — Love & Dating Expert for Singles- is helping the high-achieving, superstar single woman overcome the fears and frustrations with the modern dating world that keep her from believing that her person is out there. Women who come to her have created success in life, but not in love. The SuperLOVED System gives her a proven path to find the one she never thought could exist and have her love story.
Macy also can be seen as the host of Love Vibe T.V. and upcoming podcast, The Cafeteria of Love — All you can eat tips, tools, and talks for those hungry to fall in love. Macy’s articles & strategies on navigating the modern dating world featured on MeetMindful.com, The Westword, and ArtTour International. A keynote speaker, Macy has brought her amusing yet pragmatic relationship expertise to stages like Ignite Denver, FOX, N.B.C., Women in Tech, the IMPROV. Along with sharing the worldwide stage with top love leaders, including John Gray, Arielle Ford, and the acclaimed author and “SARK.”
Thank you so much for joining us! Our readers would love to get to know you a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your backstory?
Growing up in the ’70s, success for me meant climbing the corporate ladder and saying, “I don’t need a man” (but in my heart longing for Prince Charming!). Then finding myself in my 40’s still single and living alone, the only single one of my friends, too late for babies, convinced that if love hasn’t happened, I must be unlovable.
That’s when I decided to stop “winging it”, and do whatever it takes to figure out what it takes to find real love. I made it a mission and took the time to do the inner work, get expert support, meditate, research, and was all in on a mission for love. And it worked. Before long, I met my husband Larry and was engaged in 3 months to the man of my dreams. The guy I did not believe could exist, but he does.
As I shared my story, others found love too. So, I quit my 6-figure gig and now help smart high achieving single women worldwide find the one using my signature SuperLOVED™ system.
Can you share with us the most interesting story from your career? Can you tell us what lessons or ‘take aways’ you learned from that?
I wasn’t on a mission to be a love & relationship coach. This path found me. I always knew I loved teaching and supporting people to create change, but I wasn’t sure how to do that as an entrepreneur. I had already had a lot of success in life — -in my career, buying real estate, and expanding my personal development over my life. But when I had the breakthrough experience that led me to my love story, this was the most significant achievement. I was so thrilled, after years believing that there must be something wrong with me that love wasn’t showing up, and to finally change that and discover my magic formula for finding the one was a dream come true.
I couldn’t help but share it with every single person I knew. I loved teaching people my system, and everyone I gave it to had success! Even the most complicated cases. A woman still living with an Ex, another with a high-powered job, a painful past, and young kids, another having had extraordinary love and then losing her person to cancer, all used what I discovered and found love too.
So, my takeaway was that not only did I find a magic formula for creating my love story, I discovered my life’s purpose that can help others find it too.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
I’m a quirky, creative, intuitive woman! I embrace my weirdness and inspire others to do the same. I like to be a playful interruption to invite those who feel like they are the “exception,” can’t have what they want, get a new possibility about their love life. I am not the coach who loads on a pile of dating rules, tricks, and gimmicks that bypass a person’s inner genius. I help women release all the “wrongness” and self-judgment, old stories, ideas about what’s “attractive,” and that’s keeping her from being who she is. I had a woman come to me who’s a Medical Executive, working in a corporate office, but feeling like a misfit inside. She wanted love but thought there’s no way anyone out there would “get” her. After working together, we were able to clear blocks from old childhood emotional wounds holding her back. Then she met an amazing man who matched her creative, quirky spirit, and now they are happily engaged. “Macy showed me how I could let my “freak flag” fly in my love life and find my guy!”
None of us are able to achieve success without some help along the way. Is there a particular person who you are grateful towards who helped get you to where you are? Can you share a story?
Dr. Deb Sandella, the R.I.M. Institute founder, has been a significant mentor for me personally and professionally. I’ve had the honor of studying directly with Dr. Sandella and become a certified facilitator of her Regenerating Images in Memory (R.I.M.), transformational technique. I was inspired to learn it because of the ease and potency to create fast and lasting change. R.I.M. has been the go-to tool that I use on myself and with my private clients. I love it because it gets to the unconscious source of the emotional blocks where healing can happen. If someone wants a love relationship and it’s not showing up, it’s likely because there’s a subconscious limitation, fear, trauma, or belief keeping them from it. In my experience, R.I.M. is the most magical way to change our unhealthy patterns, release trauma, and increase self-esteem so that a healthy, loving relationship is possible.
Ok thank you for all that. Now let’s shift to the main focus of this interview. We would like to explore and flesh out the trait of resilience. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
Resilience is about being able to have the energy, mindset, and consciousness to move towards my desires so that even when obstacles show up, I’m equipped with tools, support, and strategies to stay on course.
When you think of resilience, which person comes to mind? Can you explain why you chose that person?
It’s not a person. It’s a cockroach. Those little stinkers never give up and are a totem for overcoming anything! Thank you, cockroach energy, for reminding me never to stop pursuing my dreams.
Has there ever been a time that someone told you something was impossible, but you did it anyway? Can you share the story with us?
Yes, many business coaches have told me that I can’t have blue hair or wear a tutu in a photoshoot if I want to attract the woman who will pay for high ticket love coaching programs. Saying I better not be too “weird.” That I needed to wear designer shoes and have a designer handbag for them to like me, that advice wasn’t wrong or bad. It just wasn’t aligned for me. Ditching that advice, I decided to show up in ways that were fun and inspiring. I say, “I dress like love feels,” and let that be my guide. Did I scare clients away? Yes, I’m not for everyone, but the right ones find me.
Did you have a time in your life where you had one of your greatest setbacks, but you bounced back from it stronger than ever? Can you share that story with us?
Growing up, I struggled with my body image. I remember at five years old, poking at my thighs, feeling ugly and fat. Then in my teens, reading Seventeen Magazine and seeing girls my age who looked nothing like me. They were blond, tall, and skinny, and I was brunette, short, and stocky. Seeing these images created a belief that no guy would ever find me attractive the way I was. Poor body image led to a 13-year struggle with an eating disorder, which took years of therapy to overcome. Now I feel good in my body and am aware of how powerful external influences can mold our reality. Working with singles who want love but struggle to create it, the most significant barriers are hidden beliefs, ideas, and stories picked up from childhood that live in the unconscious and drive life. Using the SuperLOVED system tools, I get to the source of the issue and change it for good. When that happens, attracting “the one” is inevitable.
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Can you share a story?
My parents owned a flower shop and worked a lot. My sister and I would spend hours waiting for them, no toys, no video games, no friends around. Our imagination was the babysitter that rescued us from boredom. We invented games, created sculptures out of random scraps, and played house by propping soil bags on our hip and pretending it was a baby. Growing up with this experience gave me the mindset to look for possibilities and know there’s nothing I can’t create.
Resilience is like a muscle that can be strengthened. In your opinion, what are 5 steps that someone can take to become more resilient? Please share a story or an example for each.
The 5 Simple Ways to Become More Resilient Online Dating — So You Don’t Give Up Before LOVE Finds You.
Play all the way. Decide to have fun. Seriousness, urgency, and frustration will quickly lead you to burn-out, and you can’t skip dating if you want to fall in love. Having a playful mindset will give you an attractive vibe, online or off! Most people want a partner because they want someone to laugh and play with, so bring that playfulness to your online dating journey. The truth is you can’t create a happily ever after love story from a miserable dating experience. In the end, it only takes one single moment, one wink, or one email for your dream relationship to start, so anticipate that, and play into love now.
Make it a No-Doubt Zone. Most people you see in the world are not going to be a match for you. Your person is not like everyone else, that’s what makes them magical. So when you are dating online, and see a of people who you are not interested in, resist going into a sad stories about “things not working out.” Don’t waste even one-second ranting about people who aren’t a match, or you risk draining your sacred dating mojo and giving up on the dream. Choose to have faith. If you have the desire for love that is your destiny, and the proof that your person exists. Keep your focus looking for the people who inspire sparks of curiosity in you, this is what will lead you to the perfect match.
Use Magic Words. Words are like a magic wand wooing in your lover. Make sure your online profile paints a picture of who you are and how you live in the world. Share specifics.
If you write, I am healthy, that doesn’t say anything. To one person, healthy means a bag of raw almonds and a wheatgrass shot for dinner, and to another, it means having lettuce on a bacon cheeseburger for breakfast. Different kinds of healthy, am I right?
Use your words to show how you “do” healthy. For example, “I start my day hunkering down with my Vitamix to swirl up an organic apple and kale smoothie, Yum!” Sharing snippets as this makes is a no-brainer for those who match you to write because there’s no doubt that they have something in common with you. When you find real connections, even if it does not match it will help you keep the faith and inspired to stay in the game.
A.C.T. and Start Conversations. Having a simple mindful strategy to make connections is key for resilience. Like a flirty gaze across the room or a welcoming smile that opens the door for a deeper conversation.
Instead of just clicking the wink or like, or hoping a good one writes you, use the A.C.T. method to start a conversation. A.C.T. stands for Acknowledge, Connect, and Throwback. To use this, acknowledge something you like in their profile, connect yourself to them, and throwback an engaging question. Easy! For example, in SuperDate100’s profile, you see he likes sushi. You could write, “I love sushi too. Last week I went to Sushi-ma-gooshi on Broadway, the tuna was amazing. What’s your favorite sushi spot in the city?” This acknowledges him, connects you to him, and throws back a question to engage in more conversation. Then see where it goes.
Having a system means you are not losing energy overthinking what to write, burning out writing too much or wasting time wishing, waiting, and hoping. Efficiency is key to dating resiliency!
Enlist Dating Support. Dating online requires that your emotional health is above the line to stay the course.
Putting yourself out there will bring stuff up. Any insecurities and fears lurking inside heart are magnified in the online dating world, triggering even the toughest soul. So, before putting yourself out there, get expert support to clear any known or unknown blocks, so that you can cultivate the security within that allows your wisest self to the dating experience. When you do this, you don’t take things personally, or unconsciously push love away, you know who you are (quirks and all), and that frees your heart to recognize your best match and helps your person find you.
You are a person of great influence. If you could inspire a movement that would bring the most amount of good to the most amount of people, what would that be? You never know what your idea can trigger. 🙂
Yes, I’m known as the “America’s Unicorn Love Coach” helping the smart, woman worried that what she wants can’t possibly exist, get past the blocks, and find her perfect love.
I’d inspire a movement where women live their full “weirdo” glory, no longer hiding or trying to fit into someone else’s ideas of what’s attractive and “right.” Being the lighthouse for women to be empowered and sexy in their “weirdo advantage,” skilled at creating authentic relationships, letting go of the lies and fears, falling madly in love not only with a beloved but with themselves.
I see happy women worldwide ripping off the rags of self-judgment and throwing them into a bonfire to burn like the bras in the ’60s so that they can have phenomenal love.
We are blessed that some very prominent leaders read this column. Is there a person in the world, or in the U.S. with whom you would love to have a private breakfast or lunch with, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them 🙂
I’d love to have a zoom coffee date with Amy Schumer or interview her for my podcast “The Cafeteria of Love.” She is the funniest woman on the planet. And she’s a powerful voice for body love, rejecting the stupid media that has made women feel bad about themselves for so long. I experienced it, and every day, women share with me heartbreaking stories on this topic, convinced that they are not “ready” or “good enough” for love because of the way they look, and it’s not true. Amy is changing this. She’s smart, hilarious, irreverent, and creating a powerful movement for women.
How can our readers follow you on social media?
https://www.instagram.com/macy_superloved/
https://www.facebook.com/groups/Iamsuperloved
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for joining us!
Macy Matarazzo of SuperLOVED: Rising Through Resilience; Five Things You Can Do To Become More… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
