Author & Former Miss USA Terri Britt: 5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country
BE AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS. Society tells us that to feel is wrong and that we need to be strong. But as long as we continue to live by this belief, we will be disconnected from who we really are.
I stuffed my emotions down for years due to living by this belief. But the more I suppressed myself, the angrier I got. I’d wear my happy face mask and then all of the sudden blow up at the people around me. It was a horrible cycle of anger and guilt that I didn’t know how to end until I gave myself permission to feel.
As part of our series about 5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country, I had the pleasure of interviewing Terri Britt.
Spiritual coach, intuitive healer and former Miss USA, Terri Britt, helps people claim their crowns and own their worth so that they get off of the hamster wheel of stress and struggle, and open up to receive the love, nurturing and support they deserve. She is the founder of the Women Leaders of Love global community and is the award-winning author of “The Enlightened Mom: A Mother’s Guide for Bringing Peace, Love & Light to Your Family’s Life.” For over 20 years, Terri has coached people from all walks of life, including television executives, entrepreneurs, doctors, nurses, coaches, parents, teens and kids. She has been featured on Today, NY Nightly News with Chuck Scarborough, Fox News Channel, Good Day Atlanta, On the Record with Greta Van Susteren, People.com, HuffPost, and Thrive Global, and was the former news anchor for Movietime, now known as the E! Channel. To learn more, go to www.terribritt.com.
Thank you so much for doing this with us! Before we dig in, our readers would like to get to know you. Can you tell us a bit about how you grew up?
I was raised to be a “good little Southern girl.” I grew up in Cabot, Arkansas, which at that time had two stoplights and a population of 4,000 people. We were the typical American family. Dad worked and mom stayed at home to take care of my younger sister and me. My life centered around playing sports, working really hard to have the best grades, being involved in lots of extracurricular school activities and clubs, and spending Friday nights at the high school football games.
Dad was the authority of our home and Mom suppressed herself to be the good wife and mom. Both of my parents lived by the Good Child Rules and put themselves on the backburner to take care of my sister and me. Self-denial was the name of the game. They lived by the belief that the kids come first and then the spouse.
I attached myself to Dad’s way of life because he seemed to be having a little more fun out in the world, and because he constantly told me that I could be anything I wanted to be.
I struggled with a battle inside of me. I wanted to believe that I could be anything and, yet, the Good Girl Rules in my mind said it wasn’t okay. So, I got angry.
Instead of allowing my anger to teach me what was hurting inside me, I was told to stuff it down. Good little girls don’t get mad. But I did get mad. In fact, just months prior to winning Miss USA 1982, at the age of 20, I tried to beat up my boyfriend and put my fist in his window. He wasn’t loving me the way I craved to be loved.
It would take me a long time to understand why I suffered. But what I know for sure is that in spite of all the accolades and achievements I had, I lived in lack and on a hamster wheel of stress and struggle trying to prove my worth to receive abundance, success and love.
Is there a particular book that made a significant impact on you? Can you share a story or explain why it resonated with you so much?
“Love Without Conditions” by Paul Ferrini changed my life. It wasn’t until I decided to heal my anger that I stumbled upon this book. It would take me some time to discover it.
My anger issues didn’t end at Miss USA. I carried them into my career in the television industry and then as a wife and mom. Thankfully, I didn’t hit my kids like I did my old boyfriend. Instead, I stuffed my emotions down until I exploded in an emotional fit of tears. It was when I saw my dad die that I finally began to wake up.
My dad, my hero, died a broken man at the age of 54 from lung cancer. He had lost everything in bankruptcy, became an alcoholic, and smoked himself to death.
While in therapy after Dad’s passing, I realized he had no forgiveness for himself, and had shut down to receiving love. My big AHA came when I realized I was just like him. I had no forgiveness for myself.
My therapist suggested getting into meditation and I found myself taking classes at an energetic healing school in Southern California. My whole world opened up as I learned about energy and how false beliefs cause the blocks that shut us down from receiving a life we love. My favorite part of the schooling was learning that I could see those energetic blocks and clear them. Woohoo! It was so much fun.
I learned that my outer world is a mirror to my inner world. Energy attracts similar energy, and that if I were reacting to anything with lower level emotions like anger, frustration and blame, it was my cue to go within and heal the false beliefs and past memories that were causing my pain and suffering.
I began to “find myself” during that schooling. It was amazing! With each release of hidden false beliefs, my anger gradually began to dissipate and I was finally finding a sense of peace that I had never known.
It was then that I read “Love Without Conditions.” I had just completed almost two years of study at the healing school and was diving deeper into looking at my life. Through my classes, I now understood the power of releasing hidden false beliefs, as well as the power of giving myself permission to honor and love the way I was created. But after reading Paul’s book, I knew there was more.
I COMMITTED to loving myself unconditionally. I then sat down in meditation and a miracle showed up.
Little Terri, my five-year-old inner child revealed herself. I cried and cried, realizing that I had never loved or acknowledged her. Then I heard very clearly in my ear, “Get up and write this Terri. This is the beginning of your book.”
That book was “Message Sent: Retrieving the Gift of Love,” my journal of awakening. By listening to the guidance, I stepped onto a journey of loving that little girl inside of me. I used the tools that I had learned in the healing school and began watching how I reacted to people and situations. I knew that I had attracted them to help me heal. I knew they were a gift telling me that if I weren’t neutral or loving then something was hurting that little kid inside of me.
I became what I call the Divine Parent to my inner child. I gave her permission to “stop performing” for love and approval. No longer did she need to prove her worth. By loving her, talking to her, and giving her a voice, I created a deep connection within and finally felt the love and approval I’d been seeking my whole life.
By stopping the performance and nurturing that little kid, I let go of blaming my hubby for my unhappiness. The walls between us came tumbling down and my kids quit fighting. My whole world opened up. Miracle after miracle showed up because of reading “Love Without Conditions” and making the commitment to love myself.
Do you have a favorite “Life Lesson Quote”? Do you have a story about how that was relevant in your life or your work?
My favorite quote is actually one that came through me in what I call a Divine download during meditation…
“Your worth isn’t determined by others. It’s determined by how you treat yourself.”
How do you define “Leadership”? Can you explain what you mean or give an example?
I have a global community called Women Leaders of Love. We are women who take a stand for unconditionally loving ourselves. We know that in doing so, we get off of the societal hamster wheel of trying to prove our worth, and set an example for our families, communities and the world to watch us and learn.
We know that unconditional love is a high vibration, and in choosing this for ourselves, we align with God. By honoring and loving the way we were created, we feel seen, heard and valued. We know at our core that we are worthy and are enough. And in this loving state, we open up to receive miracles and abundance, ending lack, pain and suffering. As Women Leaders of Love, we know our greatest act of service is loving ourselves first.
In life we come across many people, some who inspire us, some who change us and some who make us better people. Is there a person or people who have helped you get to where you are today? Can you share a story?
I see every person as a gift to dive deeper into knowing who I am and what I believe, and into loving myself so I might be an expression of love and thrive in every area of my life. But if I were to pick one who stands out, it would be a police officer who gave me a ticket years ago.
I had taken my young daughter to school late one morning and parked in a loading zone. This was a place people often parked to drop off their kids. So, I didn’t think anything of it. I walked her to the school office to get her checked in and then to her classroom. When I returned to my car, the officer was giving me a ticket. I asked him why and he said I was too close to the handicapped zone. I was surprised because I was one of those people who got angry at others for parking in these special spots when they didn’t need them.
I was shocked when the officer gave me a $300 ticket. Oh, my goodness! I asked, “Can’t you give me a break?”
He replied in a very smug tone with his arms crossed over his chest, “In my opinion, you don’t deserve a break mam.”
Anger boiled up and every hair on my body stood at attention. “I WILL take you to court,” I said. And then got in my car and drove off.
As soon as I turned the corner, I began bawling. I was so angry! But because I knew everything is a mirror to the energy and beliefs I hold within me, I said, “God, I know there’s a gift here, but I’m really pissed right now.”
I received an intuitive hit immediately. It told me that I had experienced issues my whole life with speaking up to men. And, not only had I spoken my voice by telling the man I would take him to court, but he was in fact the epitome of a male authority figure because he was a police officer.
Woohoo! I was so proud of myself. But for three days, I continually heard over and over again, “In my opinion, you don’t deserve a break mam.” It was eating at me. So, I used my spiritual tools and stayed in gratitude waiting for the gift to be revealed.
I finally sat down in meditation to retrieve the gift. I looked at that officer’s message once again, asked for the gift, and got to the truth: The officer was showing me how I treated myself. I didn’t give myself a break.
And with that realization, all of my anger melted away. I knew it was up to me to be kind and gentle to myself.
That police officer changed my life. I will forever be grateful for him. He helped me take a deeper step into loving myself.
Ok, thank you for all that. Now let’s move to the main focus of our interview. The United States is currently facing a series of unprecedented crises. So many of us see the news and ask how we can help. We’d love to talk about the steps that each of us can take to help heal our county, in our own way. Which particular crisis would you like to discuss with us today? Why does that resonate with you so much?
I see the division in our country as our biggest issue. Anger, frustration and blame have become the norm. Families and communities are torn apart.
This is likely a huge topic. But briefly, can you share your view on how this crisis evolved to the boiling point that it’s at now?
This divide we’re currently experiencing, especially with people pointing fingers at those who disagree with them, is actually due to survival fears being triggered. We all want to feel safe and loved. So, when someone disagrees with us and threatens our way of being and the beliefs we feel are the truth, the tendency is to react in anger, blame, judgment and frustration.
But there is something even deeper going on.
When we are in survival, we’re not trusting that God/The Universe has our back and that we are loved and supported, no matter what is happening in the world. We aren’t open to receive the abundance that is there for all of us. In other words, we don’t feel worthy.
Most people will tell you that they are worthy, but when you see the constant hamster wheel they live on in survival mode, trying to get it right and do it right to win love, success and happiness, you realize that they are holding subconscious beliefs that tell them they aren’t enough simply for being who they are.
I believe this survival mentality that leads to division begins in the home.
Most parents tend to do everything for their family members, especially the kids, at the expense of themselves. They work and work so their kids will feel more happiness, love and success than they’ve felt. But from an energetic perspective, the parents show the kids that being loving means it’s not okay to receive, so the kids grow up with this subconscious belief, often never realizing that it exists.
Parents also tend to believe that it’s their job to prepare their kids for the future. They send messages to their children that they either need to “be good” or “be the best” to WIN life’s rewards. But what they’re doing, often unconsciously, is telling their kids that they are not enough.
If you feel you’re not enough, whether consciously or unconsciously, if you believe that to be loving you must give and give before you can receive love, or if you believe that you must work yourself to death to win at life, you will continually live in survival mode and lack. Your relationships will suffer, and so will your work, money and even your health. In other words, you haven’t claimed your crown and owned your worth.
To shift out of survival mode and into thrive mode, you must raise your Worthiness Quotient.
Your Worthiness Quotient is how open you are to receiving love, nurturing and support from God/The Universe and the world around you, simply for who you were created to be. That means no performing or trying to get it right. How high or how low your Worthiness Quotient sits is determined by how much you love yourself.
The old family paradigm teaches us to have a low Worthiness Quotient. It teaches us to perform and seek love outside of ourselves. It’s why we’re in lack and survival, and why there’s so much division. To shift from a low Worthiness Quotient to a high one, we must each commit to healing and break the generational cycle of emotional chaos, stress and struggle.
Can you tell our readers a bit about your experience either working on this cause or your experience being impacted by it? Can you share a story with us?
Some of my family, friends and I sit on opposite sides of the political aisle. Over the last couple of years, I found myself getting angry every time I talked to them. Because I know that if I’m being triggered it’s a call to go within and heal, I took each situation as an opportunity to not only learn about myself, but to also understand what was going on with the mass consciousness.
I believe we are in a spiritual awakening. Our outer world right now is mirroring our inner world. The division we are experiencing and even the pandemic, are a call to look at our mindset. Think of the virus as a mirror to the virus in our minds that says, “We must compete. It’s you against me.”
If we all took this opportunity to go within and own our worth, and committed to healing our thoughts, beliefs and energetic blocks that shut us down to receiving unlimited abundance, we would shift from lack to love, from Poverty Consciousness to Prosperity Consciousness. Not only would we find peace within ourselves, but we would come together to create peace in our world.
Ok. Here is the main question of our discussion. Can you please share your “5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our Country”. Kindly share a story or example for each.
Here are 5 Steps to Raise Your Worthiness Quotient to End Lack and Division:
- COMMIT TO UNCONDITIONAL LOVE. It was when I decided to heal my life and committed to loving myself unconditionally that little Terri, the kid inside of me, showed up and my life transformed. I became the Divine Parent to her and began to raise my Worthiness Quotient to abundance because I was treating her as if she was worthy of being seen, heard and valued. To become the Divine Parent to your inner child, imagine the little 5-year-old inside of you and say, “I love you. From this day forward, I’ve got your back.” Build a relationship with this little kid within, just as you would with a new friend. Then pay attention to how you’re performing and trying to prove your worth to WIN love, success and happiness. Know that this is the little kid inside of you just wanting to feel safe and loved by you.
- BE AWARE OF YOUR FEELINGS. Society tells us that to feel is wrong and that we need to be strong. But as long as we continue to live by this belief, we will be disconnected from who we really are. I stuffed my emotions down for years due to living by this belief. But the more I suppressed myself, the angrier I got. I’d wear my happy face mask and then all of the sudden blow up at the people around me. It was a horrible cycle of anger and guilt that I didn’t know how to end until I gave myself permission to feel. Your feelings are God’s greatest messengers. They tell you when you’re in alignment with God or when you’re not. Negative feelings such as anger, frustration and blame are due to hidden subconscious beliefs being triggered. Be aware of your feelings and how you react to daily life. Know that if you’re feeling any emotional angst, the little kid inside of you is hurting. Have compassion for this child and give yourself permission to feel everything in a safe, loving place.
- YOUR OUTER WORLD IS A MIRROR TO YOUR INNER WORLD. You energetically attract things to you that match your vibration. See your negative reactions to your outer world as a gift to go within and heal the subconscious beliefs that say you’re wrong for being who you are or that you must meet a certain standard to receive life’s rewards. Go back to the story I shared about the police officer. By embracing the gift of him giving me a ticket, I was guided back in time to see the belief I took on that said I didn’t deserve a break. I had learned this belief by watching my mom and dad. Embrace the daily crap. Talk to your inner child. Allow his or her feelings to guide you back to a similar situation from the past. Ask your inner child what the false belief was you took on back then that is causing your pain now.
- STOP THE PERFORMANCE. As you allow your feelings to guide you to the false belief that is causing your current pain and suffering, you have two options: You can choose to continue on this path which says, “I must perform and prove my worth by denying who I really am.” Or, you can stand in your truth and choose to release the belief knowing that anything that causes you pain and suffering is not the truth. Let’s go back to my police officer story. I allowed my feelings to guide me back in time and discovered that I had a false belief that said I didn’t deserve a break. This belief caused a tremendous amount of stress for me, especially as a mom. I knew it wasn’t the truth, so I told little Terri that she had my permission to take breaks and that I was going to quit being hard on her. To stop the performance, release the belief that causes your pain and suffering and then ask your inner child, “What is your truth?” Be the Divine Parent to that little kid and give him or her permission to stand in that truth.
- NURTURE YOURSELF INTO ABUNDANCE. We often know what we need to do to love ourselves and, yet, we don’t act upon our intuition. Or, if we do, we get buried in guilt believing that if we love and nurture ourselves, we will hurt other people. The truth is that we hurt others when we stay stuck and take out our pain on them. The most loving thing you can do is to take inspired action into loving yourself. When I got the message after receiving the ticket that I needed to be kind and gentle to myself, I gave myself permission to stand in the truth that I deserved a break. However, if I had stayed at that point, I would have had an awareness but nothing would have dramatically shifted. So, I took inspired action. Whenever I felt I was being hard on myself, I’d ask little Terri, “What do you need from me to feel nurtured and loved?” And then I’d take inspired action, following the guidance.Nurturing yourself without guilt moves you into alignment with God so you feel worthy and open up to receive the abundance you deserve. Ask what your inner child needs from you to feel nurtured and loved. Take inspired action.
Commit to unconditional love. Pay attention to your feelings. See your outer world as a gift to go within and heal. Stop the performance and nurture yourself into abundance. Be the parent to your inner child. Treat yourself as if you’re worthy of being nurtured, loved and supported, and the world will mirror this back to you. These are the steps we each can take beginning today to end emotional chaos, lack and division.
It’s very nice to suggest ideas, but what can we do to make these ideas a reality? What specific steps can you suggest to make these ideas actually happen? Are there things that the community can do to help you promote these ideas?
Over the last 20+ years as a spiritual coach and healer, I have seen people’s lives and their loved ones’ lives shift because they took the steps that I just shared. When we each take responsibility for what’s going on in the world, knowing that it is a reflection to us, and commit to healing, we become Leaders of Love and the change we want to see in the world.
We are going through a rough period now. Are you optimistic that this issue can eventually be resolved? Can you explain?
I do believe we can heal the division in our world. But I believe it’s up to each of us to do the inner work. I also believe that we are at a time when people will finally step up.
If you could tell other young people one thing about why they should consider making a positive impact on our environment or society, like you, what would you tell them?
We all have the power to create change. We claim that power when we commit to unconditional love.
Is there a person in the world, or in the US, with whom you would like to have a private breakfast or lunch, and why? He or she might just see this, especially if we tag them. 🙂
LOL! I’m sure so many people say Oprah, but I’m going to say it anyway. She touches so many people’s lives with the awareness she brings to help people move into Prosperity Consciousness. I’m talking about prosperity in every area of your life. She helps people raise their Worthiness Quotients and has probably never even heard that term since it was guidance that I received.
How can our readers follow you online?
To take the Worthiness Quotient Quiz and find out how open you are to receiving the life and love you deserve, along with some tips and tools to shift it, go to www.terribritt.com/quiz.
To join us in our Women Leaders of Love community, grab my Worthiness Quotient Breakthrough Bundle that has my Women Leaders of Love e-book and three guided meditations at www.terribritt.com/leaders.
On Social Media, find me at:
https://facebook.com/womenleadersoflove
https://www.instagram.com/terri_britt/
https://twitter.com/terrileabritt
https://www.linkedin.com/in/terribritt/
This was very meaningful, thank you so much. We wish you only continued success on your great work!
Author & Former Miss USA Terri Britt: 5 Steps That Each Of Us Can Take To Proactively Help Heal Our was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
