Adrienna McDermott Of ‘Ava and The Bee’ On How To Successfully Ride The Emotional Highs & Lows Of Being An Entrepreneur
An Interview with Fotis Georgiadis
… Don’t Do it Alone. Being a small business owner can be incredibly isolating. It’s hard to explain what you do or the unique challenges we face. Even our best friends or partners often don’t understand what we do! So, it’s important to create a community around you. Whether you choose to join a group coaching program, or join a local networking group, creating those connections is key to riding through those lows while having people to celebrate those highs with.
Being a founder, entrepreneur, or a business owner can have many exciting and thrilling moments. But it is also punctuated with periods of doubt, slump, and anxiety. So how does one successfully and healthily ride the highs and lows of Entrepreneurship? In this series, called “How To Successfully Ride The Emotional Highs & Lows Of Being An Entrepreneur” we are talking to successful entrepreneurs who can share stories from their experience. I had the pleasure of interviewing Adrienna McDermott.
Adrienna McDermott is the founder and CEO of Ava and The Bee, a content marketing agency exclusively for wedding pros. Ava And The Bee offers done-for-you digital marketing through the power of consistent content, all while focusing on proven SEO strategies. She is also the founder of The Creative VA Academy, a hub for creatives looking to hone their natural skills and establish a profitable creative virtual assistant business that earns them a full-time income doing what they love.
Thank you so much for joining us in this interview series! Before we dive in, our readers would love to “get to know you” a bit better. Can you tell us a bit about your ‘backstory’ and how you got started?
I’ve never really had a “real job”. Even at the age of 14, when I started making MySpace layouts, I’ve always created my own career path.
I started in the wedding industry over a decade ago, at 18. I was creating bridal accessories and Derby hats, think the Kentucky Derby type hats, and was dreaming of becoming an accessory designer and milliner. In my junior year of college, I transferred to Savannah College of art and design, and I continued working in the wedding industry.
During the summer of my senior year in college, I co-opened a wedding-planning bridal boutique and florist company called Ivory and Beau in Savannah, Georgia.
A few years in, I started to hit burnout and needed a change after working 6–7 days a week for years and years. In 2017, I sold my part of the business to the other owner, which was terrifying since I didn’t have a backup job or a real plan. Ava And The Bee was truly formed out of a need in the industry and a passion for helping.
What was the “Aha Moment” that led to the idea for your current company? Can you share that story with us?
My ‘Aha Moment’ came sitting at Back In The Day Bakery in Savannah, Georgia. I was meeting with some wedding vendor friends weekly to co-work, and week after week, they were saying how they needed to outsource. And they kept using this term “virtual assistant.”
At the time, I had never heard that term. I had no idea what a virtual assistant was, but they were just so frustrated because they couldn’t find anyone who knew the wedding industry. They didn’t have time to train anyone in the industry. I kept thinking, “I can do this. I’ve spent the last 6 years mastering marketing for my own business. I know exactly what they need to do!”
So, I finally piped up and said that I could help them. One thing led to another, and within months I was completely booked. I didn’t have a website, and I was still working a 9-to-5. I quickly saw how large the demand was, quit my job, and dove into Ava And The Bee full-time.
Over the last few years, Ava And The Bee has grown from a solo virtual assistant business, to a marketing agency with a team dedicated to helping wedding professionals grow their business.
In your opinion, were you a natural born entrepreneur or did you develop that aptitude later on? Can you explain what you mean?
I’ve always had the desire to create a unique life. Even as a young child, I was constantly creating and making. I never saw myself in an office or working a traditional 9-to-5. I started making accessories to sell on Etsy right after high school, and started doing craft fares shortly after. That turned into me wanting to become a milliner, and by age 19, I had hats I made being worn to the Kentucky Derby, Preakness, and galas.
This passion for accessories led me to work in bridal boutiques. And that passion turned into a love of the wedding industry and led me to co-open the bridal boutique and planning company at 23. So, when this opportunity came for me to help wedding professionals, I wasn’t scared — but was excited!
Was there somebody in your life who inspired or helped you to start your journey with your business? Can you share a story with us?
There wasn’t just one person. I have been incredibly blessed to have a support system around me. My mom always allowed me to lean into my creativity and taught me almost everything I knew, from sewing to accounting.
My parents have always encouraged me to try new things, even the most terrifying things. They supported the decision when I came to them both, saying I wanted to take out a huge business loan before I had even finished college to co-open a bridal shop and wedding planning company. Most parents would not be a fan of that idea!
I’ve also been fortunate to have an incredible husband, who was my biggest cheerleader when I chose to leave my former company, Ivory And Beau. It was a huge decision to leave a job, without any backup plan, and while we were only dating then, it encouraged me to listen to my heart, look out for myself, and leave a job I was miserable in.
What do you think makes your company stand out? Can you share a story?
Ava And The Bee stands out because we are a team of wedding experts. We are not just knowledgeable but have hands-on experience in the wedding industry. We also believe in completely custom marketing. Every single wedding professional, even two photographers in the same city, will not be marketing to the same audience.
We are also incredibly passionate about our clients and their results. We want our clients to have results that are measured by their own meaning of success. Whether that means fewer weddings booked and more hours than at home or growing a team and booking hundreds of weddings year, we work to get them to that goal.
For example, one of our clients booked us because of our industry knowledge and because we were able to create a complete strategy. Now, she can work on other areas of her business and take more days off, all while seeing more inquiries and website traffic. For her, she needed more hours in the day, and by hiring us, she quickly got those back.
You are a successful business leader. Which three character traits do you think were most instrumental to your success? Can you please share a story or example for each?
Kindness
I value kindness above everything else. I believe everyone deserves to be treated with respect, patience, and understanding. I also believe in being kind to ourselves, and I do this by setting boundaries, taking time off, and offering myself grace when I feel like I am not enough. As a business owner, so much of my success has been simply from being a kind person. I treat my clients with respect and am always looking out for them and their best interests.
Creativity
Being a creative has been a driving force of being an entrepreneur. I am always looking for new ideas and curious about new ways to explore my creativity. I also use creative outlets outside of my business, like art, to fuel my passions. My best business ideas happen when I am creating art or in the pottery studio!
Reliable
I believe you should deliver what you promise, help when asked, and support those around you. This reliability also allows me to be a hard worker and set up our business for success. I am always looking for ways to help our clients while also being a reliable member of their outsourcing team. I will never suggest a service just for the paycheck — I only offer services I know will grow their business!
Often leaders are asked to share the best advice they received. But let’s reverse the question. Can you share a story about advice you’ve received that you now wish you never followed?
That you have to hit certain numbers each month to be a success. When I got started in the online business world, all the big coaches were saying that success was $10,000 months and hitting $100,000 in your first year. So, I tried that — and I almost burned Ava And The Bee down. By trying to make my business what I thought was “successful” I lost sight of what was important to me and my values.
Once I started to shift what success meant to me, and focused on my personal and mental health, our growth flourished.
Which tips would you recommend to your colleagues in your industry to help them create a work culture in which employees thrive and do not “burn out” or get overwhelmed?
The first is to create processes and SOP’s. Having a set system in place for every task and service you offer will allow for everyone on the team to know what is happening, and what is expected of them. Organization and systems help prevent burnout since it gives guidelines. This way, employees are not constantly asking, “What next?”
Another is to lean into breaks. Whether that means giving more days off or allowing remote employees to make hours around their schedule, prioritizing their time, and giving ample time-off, is essential! For example, in my business, office hours are flexible depending on each employee’s needs. One of our full-time employees is a mom of two, so it’s important for her to work earlier in the morning so she can spend the afternoons with her kids.
What are the most common mistakes you have seen CEOs & founders make when they start a business? What can be done to avoid those errors?
The biggest one, especially one that happens in the wedding industry, is this hustle culture. That in order to be successful, you need to have 100 clients, magazine covers, thousands of followers, and awards. Working seven days a week is a badge of honor for so many business owners and wedding professionals! But that is such a huge mistake. When you start a new business, it’s important to work hard — but is even more important to take care of yourself. Don’t live your life for someone else’s approval. You are enough!
Ok fantastic. Thank you for those excellent insights. Let’s now shift to the main focus of our interview about How to Successfully Ride The Emotional Highs & Lows Of Being An Entrepreneur. The journey of an entrepreneur is never easy, and is filled with challenges, failures, setbacks, as well as joys, thrills and celebrations. This might be intuitive, but I think it will be very useful to specifically articulate it. Can you describe to our readers why no matter how successful you are as an entrepreneur, you will always have fairly dramatic highs and lows? Particularly, can you help explain why this is different from someone with a “regular job”?
The biggest difference between being an entrepreneur and having a regular job is that you are solely responsible for your business. Even with a business partner or two, you are responsible for all of the highs and lows. When you have a “regular job” you have a hierarchy — and unless you are the founder or CEO, you are not individually responsible when mistakes are made. It is a team effort!
Being a solopreneur means that you are responsible for every single decision and every single dollar that comes in and out of your business. You are responsible for your team’s paycheck, so if you have a bad season, that money comes out of your account. As an employee at a regular job, you never have to worry about this — your paycheck is expected.
You also have to really focus even more. I’ve found that creative business owners get bored quickly. We constantly want something new, something fresh, something exciting. But that doesn’t lead to business growth, just confusion. You have to know when to jump into a new big idea or when to put blinders on and rein it in and focus.
Do you feel comfortable sharing a story from your own experience about how you felt unusually high and excited as a result of your business? We would love to hear it.
So many of these highs are little reminders we are making a difference for our clients. On my computer, I have a folder called “Love Notes” that I fill with screenshots when our clients have a win. From emails praising our work to Instagram DM’s when they book a dream client — I screenshot it and save it! It really helps when I have a rough day to look at these notes and remind myself that what we are doing is impactful.
Do you feel comfortable sharing a story from your own experience about how you felt unusually low, and vulnerable as a result of your business? We would love to hear it.
Let me tell you about my breakdown in the Ulta parking lot.
At the time, I co-owned a successful bridal boutique + wedding planning company. On the outside, I was living the dream. I was being featured in magazines, TV interviews, and working in this Say Yes to The Dress dream world.
But it wasn’t all glitter and gold — deep inside, I was miserable. I was working 18-hour days, going weeks without a day off and I was in a terrible business partnership. I felt underappreciated, undervalued, and honestly, I felt like a failure. Our business was so pretty on the outside, but it was falling apart internally.
I was at such a low point, sinking into depression. I cried almost every single day and was constantly getting panic attacks. My OCD and anxiety were at an all-time high. And the stress wasn’t just mental — I was getting kidney stones every other month.
It was early 2017, and I was leaving Ulta, and my car wasn’t working. And instead of just being frustrated about my car (that I could barely afford because we were paying ourselves pennies each month) everything crashed down. I called one of my friends to come pick me up, and as she sat with me, waiting for the tow truck, I just fell apart. I told her everything — all the pain, the struggles, everything. She already knew I was struggling, but this was the first time I had opened up to someone about the reality of it all.
It was in that moment, in an Ulta parking lot, that I realized I had to let go. So many people dreamed of what I had. But I hit burnout. And not just mental burnout. My body was physically falling apart, and I knew I had to leave and change my life.
This is the moment where I not only decided to leave, but to focus on a new career that would allow for me to have space. From space to take time off, to space to work from anywhere, it was a life-changer.
Based on your experience can you tell us what you did to bounce back?
So much of the bounce back came from support from those around me. I had so much support from family and friends and even others in the wedding industry. I also finally saw what work-life balance meant. I finally got to take a vacation without panicking the whole time and checking my phone. I got to take weekends off! This really helped me see what life could be like and helped get me excited for the future.
Ok super. Here is the main question of our interview. What are your “Five Things You Need To Successfully Ride The Emotional Highs & Lows Of Being An Entrepreneur”? Please share a story or an example for each.
Passion + Drive In Your Business
Being a business owner isn’t easy. Social media portrays this entrepreneur’s life as the easy “solution” to the 9-to-5 grind. But it’s not a solution. It’s challenging, and when you first start, you work way more hours than you did at your 9-to-5. To become successful, you need to have a passion for what you do. This is what gets you through those long nights, difficult clients, and endless emails.
Passion + Drive Outside of Your Business
Just as important as having passion and drive for your business, it’s important to have passions outside of work! You need to have things that are outside of your business that brings you joy. Whether that is art classes, going to museums, or working out. Your joy should not only be from your job — but from your soul! When I started taking pottery classes, I wasn’t only more relaxed but had better business ideas since I allowed my brain to rest and create.
Success Isn’t Just Monetary
One of the biggest things that leads entrepreneurs to burnout, and those deep lows, is not feeling like they are successful enough. But what success is should be entirely up to them — not what the textbooks say. Hitting a $100,000 financial goal shouldn’t be the only measure of success. Spending the evenings at home, or taking Fridays off, or even having time for their favorite hobby is the true measure of success.
Don’t Do it Alone
Being a small business owner can be incredibly isolating. It’s hard to explain what you do or the unique challenges we face. Even our best friends or partners often don’t understand what we do! So, it’s important to create a community around you. Whether you choose to join a group coaching program, or join a local networking group, creating those connections is key to riding through those lows while having people to celebrate those highs with.
It’s Okay To Pivot and Change
Owning a business means you might ebb and flow with what you do. I used to be so afraid of change. I thought that if I left the bridal boutique, I owned, I would be seen as a failure. But that just isn’t true at all! Being a business owner means you have to make changes and lean into them.
We are living during challenging times and resilience is critical during times like these. How would you define resilience? What do you believe are the characteristics or traits of resilient people?
I see resilience as not just being optimistic but knowing that our mistakes do not define us. When you hone in on every single mistake and let it take over your thoughts, it leads to more mistakes that just start to fester. I know my mistakes are not my core identity. They are just stepping stones to another opportunity and something that I can learn and improve on.
Did you have any experiences growing up that have contributed to building your resiliency? Would you mind sharing a story?
When I was 8, my dad had a brain aneurysm, and while he luckily survived, he was in the hospital for a while. Being a child and seeing someone you loved face a near-death experience really set in a lot of my resiliency from a young age. I had to grow up pretty quickly in a short period of time, and it’s something that I believe has shaped the rest of my life.
In your opinion, do you tend to keep a positive attitude during difficult situations? What helps you to do so?
As an eternal optimist, I tend to see the glass half-full in any situation. On the other hand, I also have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, so I will internally obsess over small mistakes. I do a lot of mindful meditation to find balance during difficult situations. It helps me to re-center myself and clears my mind, even if it’s just for a few minutes. It’s certainly not easy some days, and sometimes I have to just go to bed early to stop worrying about it. But so much of your attitude really does connect with your mental health and focusing on getting better every day!
Can you help articulate why a leader’s positive attitude can have a positive impact both on their clients and their team? Please share a story or example if you can.
As a leader, you have to have a positive attitude. Without it, your team will suffer, and in return, so will your client work. I’ve experienced first-hand what happens when a leader has a negative attitude. In leads to stressed out employees, and a high quit rate. And in return, mistakes are made when employees are constantly under stress and pressure. It is all connected!
Your employees should never feel the stresses of the business. If you have a bad month, that should never be taken out on your team. As the owner, it is up to you to find the solution, adjust as needed, and steer your ship forward. When your employees get worried, they start to underperform (which is only natural!). So, by creating a positive environment where mistakes are a learning opportunity, you create a team that respects you and wants to continue to grow with your business.
Ok. Super. We are nearly done. What is your favorite inspirational quote that motivates you to pursue greatness? Can you share a story about how it was relevant to you in your own life?
Anything by Morgan Harper Nichols. One of my favorites that I have saved on my phone is, “As you notice the ways other people bloom, may you remember the ways you are blooming, too.”
Owning a business in an online space, where being on social media is a key part of my day, it can be so easy to slip into imposter syndrome. To see the successes of others and feel that tinge of jealousy, wondering why I didn’t think of that. Or why I am not as successful as they are.
But then I remember this quote and remember that while they are blooming, so am I. I am growing each day, creating a path for myself.
How can our readers further follow you online?
They can follow me on Instagram @avaandthebee and find us at www.avaandthebee.com and www.thecreativevaacademy.com
This was very inspiring. Thank you so much for the time you spent with this. We wish you continued success and good health!
Adrienna McDermott Of ‘Ava and The Bee’ On How To Successfully Ride The Emotional Highs & Lows Of… was originally published in Authority Magazine on Medium, where people are continuing the conversation by highlighting and responding to this story.
